Our Light
by KaylaMicael
Summary: My very first TMNT story! Honest reviews would be appreciated, but kindly keep criticism constructive. Rated T to be safe.
1. Chapter 1

_Silent. Calm. Still, like the forest._

Mikey crouched on the beam, his whitened eyes narrowed as he watched Foot soldiers move around below. Every distraction, every stray thought was pushed away as soon as it entered his mind. This was a mission more important than any they'd ever done, and no way was he screwing it up. Taking a deep, quiet breath, he ran Leo's words through his head again.

 _If nothing happens in twenty minutes, we're in. Any sign of trouble, send us a message and we retreat._

It had been almost twenty-five minutes now. Quick and quiet, Mikey began moving across the ceiling toward Shredder's main hall. It was a bit of a challenge keeping track of things across such a wide area, but he was quick enough. Besides, Sensei and his brothers didn't need anyone who could hold them up.

As he approached the room, the voices from inside became clear.

"… no reports of activity in the city."

Mikey's eyes narrowed at Tiger Claw's voice, but flew wide open at the next one.

"Good. See that the patrols remain vigilant."

 _What?! Shredder?! But… he was supposed to be in Japan!_

"Of course, Master. But you need not have postponed your journey…"

"I will be the judge of that."

Mikey sat still, heart pounding, as he watched Shredder pace to the window and gaze out.

"I am certain Hamato Yoshi and his mutant students will move soon. They will come for Karai. They must not reach her before she returns to her senses."

Up in the rafters, Mikey clenched his teeth.

 _Before you shove more of those freaky worms in her brain, you mean!_

Shredder stared out the window a while longer, then turned.

"Now, I must see my daughter."

Mikey almost fell from the beam as a rush of panic hit him. Catching himself just in time, he snatched his T-phone, but just as he was about to punch in a message his finger froze over the keys. Leo's voice suddenly echoed in his head again.

 _This is the best shot we have, so let's make it count._

Mikey couldn't ignore the sinking feeling in his gut. If they retreated now Shredder would make sure they never got a chance again, he knew it.

Master Splinter's face before they had separated suddenly appeared. Despite his urging for them to be safe, Mikey had seen the pleading in his eyes. If they came back only to tell him they'd failed…

With a deep breath, Mikey narrowed his eyes.

 _No. Not this time._

Heaving himself off the beam, the young ninja dropped into the room and landed neatly on the floor. Ignoring Tigerclaw's startled growl, he allowed a faint grin to cross his face.

"'Sup, dudes?"

Shredder gazed down at him, showing no emotion other than a slight widening of his eyes. He raised his hand, silencing the shouts from Tigerclaw and Fishface, then narrowed his eyes.

"So, I was correct. I suppose the others sent this one as a distraction."

Mikey snorted, making himself look amused.

"Shows how much you know. They don't even know I'm here. You want a fight? I'm here to oblige."

Shredder's eyes widened a little. For a minute Mikey thought he'd screwed up majorly, but then he heard a faint, cold chuckle.

"Your stupidity in thinking you can face me is almost amusing."

The sound of a blade clicking open drew Mikey's eyes to Fishface as the mutant stepped forward.

"Shall I take care of the freak, Master?"

Mikey reached for his chucks, but Shredder held up his hand again.

"No." His eyes took on a hateful gleam and his gauntlet blades emerged. "Any student of Hamato Yoshi will die by my hand."

Ignoring his pounding heart, Mikey whipped out his nunchucks. He was terrified, more than he'd probably ever been in his whole life, but he wouldn't show it. No way. If Shredder wanted to savor his fear, he'd have to drag it out kicking and screaming this time.

"Oh, yeah? Just come try it, Shred-head!"

…

"Come on, let's move!" Leo whispered. Behind him, Karai and his brothers moved swiftly and silently. He just managed to keep a wide smile from spreading across his face at the thought of how everything had gone so smooth. It was hard to believe, and it was almost over. He held up his hand as they reached the waste duct through which they had entered.

"Okay, let's call Mikey and get out of here."

He pulled out his Shell Phone and was just about to dial the number when a faint, all-too-familiar battle yell echoed across the walls.

The entire group froze, their faces blank. Karai's eyes widened, and a horrified whisper escaped Donnie.

"No, no, no…"

A faint creaking of leather was heard as Raph tightened his grip on his sais.

"What's that idiot…" he snarled. "We said no engagement!"

Leo felt cold horror creeping up his spine, but he pushed it back. He couldn't let himself be distracted by emotions now.

"Let's move, now!"

A hand grabbed his arm, making him turn to look at Karai.

"Wait! Every hall will be full of Foot soldiers, we'd never get there in time!"

Raph's eyes flashed like green fire as he stormed up to her.

"So what?! We just ditch him and hope he gets out in one piece?"

"Enough!" Leo hissed. He looked back at Karai, waiting.

"There's another way," she said. "A tunnel that runs through the building. Only Shredder and a few others know about it…"

Her words broke off in a startled hiss as Raph snatched her shoulder.

"And we're supposed to just trust you?! What do you think…"

"Raph!" Leo hauled him off, shoving him against the wall. "We're not doing this, understand? Not now!"

He stared at his brother with hard eyes, until the hothead grunted and looked toward the ground. Leo released his grip and turned back toward Karai.

"Alright, show us."

She nodded, then hurried back the way they'd come. The turtles followed, and soon they reached the dungeon where she had been. Leo saw Raph's jaw clench and was about to cut off any angry remarks when Karai hurried to a large vent on the wall.

"Here."

She ran her hand over the metal, her eyes narrowed in concentration, then pressed on one spot. There was a soft hissing sound, then the vent slid to the side to reveal a narrow corridor.

"This comes out right into the main hall," Karai said. "Come on, hurry!"

Leo nodded and gestured to the others to follow before plunging into the corridor behind her. The fast clanging of his brothers echoed behind him as he rushed after Karai, his jaw set and eyes narrowed. Once they got Mikey and got out of here, he would only keep Raph from killing him long enough to do it himself.

Eventually the sound of clashing metal came from up ahead, growing louder and louder as they hurried through the narrow space. Finally, a dim light appeared up ahead and another large vent came into view. Karai hurried up to it, and Leo's heart sank when she slammed a fist against it with an angry hiss.

" _Kuso_!"

"What? What's wrong?"

Karai shoved against the door, grunting.

"The lock's been changed!"

A furious growl came from Raph, but then Donnie pushed forward and bent down to work the lock. Leo looked past him into the room below, and his heart dropped from his stomach to the floor. There, right in front of his eyes, was the very enemy they had taken such lengths to avoid. And facing him was the last person on earth that he wanted to see fighting the Shredder alone.

Mikey was whirling both nunchucks with unbelievable speed, matching each move Shredder made as they circled. When his face came into view, Leo's eyes widened. The expression on Mikey's face was dead serious, the blue of his eyes hidden beneath the white nictitating eyelids. He had never looked so focused, so determined. Leo heard Raph inhale sharply beside him, but couldn't look away from what was happening below.

Suddenly Shredder lunged forward. Mikey leaped, barely avoiding one of his blades as it sang over his head. Whirling in the air, he whipped his nunchucks forward and there was a loud clang as the chain wrapped around the blade. Snapping his arm to the side, he sent it whirling toward the floor. Shedder grunted as it embedded in the tiles, then barely pulled it out in time to block a blow aimed at his head. Weapons locked, the two opponents glared at each other, then Shredder shoved Mikey back.

"Persistent," he murmured as they began circling again. "It seems you are not as hopeless as everyone believes."

Despite the clear attempt to rattle him, Mikey only smirked.

"Full of surprises, dude."

Shredder's eyes narrowed.

"It hardly matters… you know you cannot win. Your rat master may do all he wishes, but there is nothing in you that can make a true warrior."

Leo clenched his teeth, his fists tightening, but the rush of anger turned into surprise when he heard Mikey chuckle.

"Man, you really are as dumb as you look."

Shredder froze. Mikey's back was to the vent, but Leo could picture the smirk on his face as he continued.

"You're not gonna get anywhere by tellin' me what I already know. Yeah, I'm not a real ninja, and I don't have what it takes to ever be one."

Leo stared in stunned disbelief, feeling as if he was rooted to the ground. Mikey didn't sound mad or even bitter… he just said it like it was a simple fact.

 _Like he really believes it._

A metallic _ching_ echoed through the air, and the kusarigama blades leaped from Mikey's nunchucks. He began twirling them in wide arcs, sparks flying as the metal started to clang together.

"But that just means if someone needs to go down to take you out…"

The blades drew closer and closer together, sparks flying in a red shower, and Mikey shouted over the screeching grind of metal.

"It's gonna be me!"

With a fierce battle yell, he leaped and flung the spinning blades forward. Shredder barely managed to block, grunting as the screaming metal gouged deep scratches in his armor. Leo stared, so focused on the battle that he barely heard Raph's fist slam against the wall.

"Don, move!"

Donnie's voice was high and cracking like a little kid's.

"I'm trying, it's just…!"

The fist slammed again.

"Try harder!"

Leo ordered his voice not to break as he pried his eyes away from the battle below.

"Stop it! This isn't gonna do any good…"

Shredder's enraged shout snapped his attention back below. With a flash of sparks, his helmet clattered across the ground. Leo stared, hope flaring in his chest as one of Mikey's nunchuck chains snapped around Shredder's arms, then one of the kusarigama blades flashed toward his exposed head…

And halted centimeters from his face.

"I'm giving you one chance." Mikey's voice was cold and fierce. "Give up, now."

"What's he doing?" Raph hissed. Leo couldn't even answer, but he knew. Even though Mikey could be as fierce as any of them, he also had the biggest heart. No matter whose it was, he would never take a life unless he knew there was no other choice.Tense seconds that felt like hours passed, then a faint, bone-chilling chuckle drifted through the vent.

"Little fool… just as weak as ever."

A loud clanging sound rang through the room, then the chains holding the Shredder suddenly broke away in a shower of sparks. Mikey stumbled back, his startled look quickly hardening as he jumped and ducked, his every effort focused on avoiding the whirlwind of steel. A black cloud of dread filled Leo when he saw that the chains on both nunchucks were broken. Even the most skilled fighter couldn't hold his own for long against Shredder with a damaged weapon.

"Donatello!"

Don's trembling voice betrayed his own barely controlled panic.

"I'm almost there, just a little… got it!"

Tumblers clacked, and the door jerked open. Leo yanked out his weapons and charged through, just in time to see Shredder lunge forward. Another metallic clang split the air as Mikey blocked the gauntlet with his damaged weapons, stopping the blades bare centimeters from his chest.

Leo's split second of relief shattered as the second gauntlet flashed forward. A green blur shot past him, and Raph's desperate scream tore through the air.

"NO!"

There was the horrible sound of sharp metal plunging into flesh, a harsh grunt. The next thing that Leo saw was Mikey's stunned, uncomprehending face. Then he saw the blades driven into his left shoulder, their sharp tips emerging from the back.


	2. Chapter 2

The shock on Mikey's face turned to agony, and a strangled gasp escaped his throat as he sank to his knees. His arms fell limp at his sides, the broken chucks clattering to the ground.

Shredder's hideous laugh tore into Leo's horrified, frozen mind. With a sharp yank, he pulled the red, dripping blades free and turned to face the newcomers as Mikey slumped to the ground.

"So, the fool was a distraction after all. I must admit, I am impressed you had the wisdom to send the disposable one."

With no more regard than someone would show a piece of trash, he planted a foot on his fallen opponent, then kicked him away. Mikey hit the ground like a limp rag doll, crimson streaks smearing the floor under him as he slid to a stop.

 _I am impressed you had the wisdom to send the disposable one._

As the heartless words echoed through his head, Leo felt an all-consuming fury burn through his shock. His fists clenched around the hilt of his katanas until they shook, and he drew in a breath. But any words he might have said were cut off as Raph lunged forward, releasing a roar of pure animalistic rage.

Shredder barely blocked the sais in time, and Leo could swear he saw a flicker of unease on the scarred face before it hardened again. The next shout came from Karai as she followed close beside Raph.

Leo would have charged in with them, but Donnie was already rushing toward their motionless youngest brother. Leo raced across the room, taking down Tigerclaw and Fishface with single-minded, machinelike precision and clearing the way for Donnie to reach Mikey. Leo watched with a white knuckled grip on the hilts of his katana, waiting to hear whether he needed to sheath them and retreat or use them to slice the Shredder's twisted head from his neck.

Seconds seemed to drag by, then Donnie's head snapped up.

"He's alive!"

Leo's swords slammed into their scabbards and he knelt, one hand snatching a smoke pellet from his belt while the other pressed against Mikey's shoulder. He looked at Raph and Karai, who by now had driven Shredder across the room. For the first time, Leo was sure that if they kept fighting they would kill him. He almost wished he could let them.

"Everyone, fall back! Retreat NOW!"

Raph's head snapped toward him, his eyes still burning with fury. Once they locked with Leo's, the white eyelid disappeared as they widened and he shouted to Karai. In almost perfect synchronization, they struck from opposite sides, forcing the Shredder to block, and then Raph whirled and swung a kick at the man's open center, connecting with a distinctive _**crack!**_ and sending him flying into a nearby wall.

As Raph and Karai sprinted toward them, Leo turned his attention to Mikey. Despite the pressure he and Donnie were applying to his wounds, the red pool under him was growing fast.

"Can we get him back home?"

Donnie's jaw clenched, making Leo feel sick.

"The blades went straight through. If we can…"

"Karai!"

Leo's eyes snapped to Shredder, who had used the wall to pull himself up. His strained voice confirmed that Raph's blow had done its damage.

"My daughter…"

Leo saw Karai's eyes narrow into slits, and his heart lurched as she whirled to face the Shredder. They couldn't waste any more time…

But Karai made no move to attack.

"I am not yours in any way," she hissed. "And whatever you want to believe, the only weak one is _ **you**_."

Without another word, she turned and raced to the turtles. To their collective astonishment, she morphed into her serpentine form with as much ease as the strides she was taking. Seeing their stunned looks, Karai let out an impatient hiss and her extra heads writhed.

"Do it! Now!"

Quickly recovering from his shock, Leo threw the smoke bomb. That same moment, Karai snatched him and his brothers up in her coils and leaped back into the vent.

Shredder's enraged yell echoed behind them as she whipped through the tunnel with unbelievable speed. It seemed that barely a second had passed before they burst through a vent, but Leo recognized that they had reached the rendezvous point in an alley several blocks from Foot headquarters. Karai had barely set them down then Donnie pressed the alarm on his T-phone and rushed to Mikey's side.

Leo stumbled over with Raph close behind. The red-banded turtle lifted Mikey's head into his lap as Donnie yanked strips of gauze from his belt pouch.

"He's losing blood fast, we have to keep pressure on both sides till the others get here!" He thrust some of the gauze into Leo's hands. "Press down here, as hard as you can, and don't let up unless I say!"

Leo tried not to hear the note of desperation in Donnie's voice as he obeyed, but he couldn't keep his hands from shaking as the white material quickly grew soaked with red. He suddenly sensed a presence beside him and turned his head to see Karai, now back to her human form, kneeling beside him. Her eyes were wide and her voice soft as she looked at him.

"Is there anything I can do?"

Raph's head snapped up, and Leo was startled by the coldness in his voice as he glared at Karai.

"I think _**your**_ help's the last thing we need."

Leo gritted his teeth and opened his mouth, but any words were quickly forgotten at the sound of a weak groan, then a faint, hoarse whisper.

"R-… Raph…?"

The hostile look evaporated from Raph's face, replaced with a tremulous smile as he ran a gentle hand over Mikey's head.

"H-hey… I'm right here, little brother, right here. Don't you worry, you're gonna be fine. Donnie'll get you fixed up good, and you're gonna be just fine."

Hard as he was trying, he couldn't hide the tremor in his voice or blink away the glassiness in his eyes. Leo swallowed hard as he pressed down harder, his stomach turning when he felt warm liquid seeping through his fingers. He had to force his voice not to tremble.

"Don, it's…"

"I know, I know! Just let me focus here!" The fierce tone made Leo flinch, even though he knew the anger wasn't directed at him. Mikey's eyelids flickered.

"Don… nie…"

Donatello's voice became gentle as he shushed their injured brother, though the strain couldn't quite be hidden.

"Easy, buddy, don't try to talk. Stay with me, it'll be okay…"

Suddenly the sound of screeching tires came from the street and the Shell-Razr came roaring into the alley, the brakes screaming as it came to a stop. The doors flew open and Master Splinter leaped out, April close behind. Piercing red eyes scanned over them. There was a flash of relief when they passed Karai, but then they came to rest on the youngest turtle.

Until then, Leo hadn't known it was possible for a fur-covered face to visibly drain of color. April's horrified gasp, along with Don's shouted orders, came through a fog as Splinter raced over and knelt, his ears flattening as he took in the sight. The gauze held by Donnie and Leo obstructed full view of Mikey's wounds, but there was no mistaking the severity. The large rat's tail lashed, but his voice was low and controlled as he spoke.

"Shredder did this."

It wasn't a question, and Leo knew he didn't need to answer. Mikey stirred and turned his head, drawing in a ragged breath.

"S… Sen-… sei…?"

Master Splinter's tone remained calm, but Leo saw his hand tremble as it cupped Mikey's cheek.

"Michelangelo. Yes, I am here. Stay still, it will be all right."

Mikey drew in a shaking breath, then his eyes cracked open. As the hazy baby blues moved from one face to another, Leo could see the fear growing in them. He glanced at Karai and jerked his head before looking back at Mikey.

"It's okay, Mikey. Everyone's out, don't worry."

Karai moved up beside him, and Mikey's eyes moved to her. After a few moments, a glossy sheen filled them and a weak smile tugged at his face.

"You… d-did t'…"

His breath hitched as he shuddered, the familiar laugh lines in his face furrowing even deeper with pain.

"Of course we did!" Raph growled, his eyes wet. "Then you had go and… what the shell were you thinking?!"

With what seemed like great effort, Mikey opened his eyes. Despite the fear and pain, there was no regret in them.

"Shredder… H-had t'… stop him…"

Leo's stomach clenched in horror when wet, rattling coughs jerked his little brother's body, a thin stream of blood trickling from his mouth. Master Splinter gently wiped it away, and Leo's heart started to pound at the fear in his eyes.

"Hush, my son… save your strength."

Mikey's eyes opened again, another weak, heartbreaking smile flickering across his pain-filled face.

"I-it's okay… Father. S' better… l-like this. I-I… I…" He shuddered, breaths growing shallow and rapid as his eyes closed.

"A vein's nicked!" Any control in Donnie's voice was gone, and it cracked with fear. "There's too much blood, I can't get to it!"

"What do you mean, can't get to it?! He's bleeding out, you've got to!"

Raph's desperate, furious shouts came through a fog. Leo felt numb, paralyzed by shock and terror.

 _S' better… like this…_

Mikey's voice came to him unbidden, racing through the leader's mind with merciless clarity. Alongside the terrible realization that his baby brother was bleeding to death right in front of him, there was the equally horrifying one that he believed his life was a smaller price than any of theirs.

"Leonardo!"

Master Splinter's fierce voice broke through the fog, and Leo blinked away the haze to see his father chanting the healing mantras with a grave intensity that he had only seen a few times. Pausing, he looked up at Leo. His eyes were blazing, and his voice tight with a control he was clearly struggling to hold.

"You must help me. This may be our only chance."

With that, he went back to chanting the mantra. All of a sudden the fog lifted from Leo's mind, replaced with the words of the healing chant. He glanced over at Karai; understanding instantly, she moved to take his place applying the pressure bandage and he began the chant himself. As soon as Splinter removed his hands, Leo applied his own. As they continued to alternate, all Leo could do was stare at his little brother's still face and pray to whatever god might be listening that this would somehow be enough.

 _Come on, Mikey… don't do this now. Not now!_

"Stop!"

Don's voice broke through the fog, and Leo immediately halted. Sensei stopped as well, and all eyes turned to the genius as he bent over Mikey. Seconds dragged by while they watched his hands move, the movements rushed but decisive.

In the end, it seemed so simple: three quick, tight stitches, then Donnie wrapped the shoulder and straightened.

"That's it?!" Raph demanded, his frantic tone now bordering on outright panic. Don's reply was more controlled, but Leo could hear his alarm.

"It'll hold for now. We have to get him home before I do any more."

That was all the others needed to hear. As quickly as they dared, they rushed the youngest turtle to the ShellRazr. Once Mikey was settled in the back, they took off for the entry to the sewers. Leo sat rigid as a statue, his hands clenched so hard that his knuckles cracked, staring at the scene in front of him with fogged, unblinking eyes.

Don was all professionalism, monitoring their youngest brother's vitals and spouting medical terms too fast for anyone to follow. Raph clutched Mikey's hand as if it were glass, murmuring soft words of encouragement that were undermined by the tears streaming down his face. Master Splinter appeared to be the calmest as he knelt by Mikey, hands resting gently on his head, but Leo knew that the ninja master was focusing all his mental strength on maintaining connection with Mikey's spirit. The noticeable tension in his back revealed the effort it was taking. Leo wanted to help, but he knew adding his mind would only be a distraction.

He was useless… just like before. Just like he always was when it mattered most.

Everything that followed was a blur, and looking back Leo wouldn't be able to remember much of it. The one thing that stood out clear was when Donnie finally stumbled from the lab, half dead from exhaustion. There was an outburst of joy when he told them that Mikey was still alive, but it quickly faded at what came next.

"He's lost so much blood… I d-did the best I could, but… he slipped into a coma. If he makes it through the night… he has a chance, but…"

The silence that followed hung in the air like a thick, noxious fog. Leo felt like he could hardly breathe.

 _How could this happen… why now…_

Dimly, as if from a distance, he heard Karai speaking.

"I… I'm so sorry…"

The loud crash that came next snapped Leo out of his trance. The coffee table was overturned and Raph was on his feet, his whole body trembling and his eyes blazing with white-hot fury.

"You're sorry?! You're SORRY?! Well, I'M sorry we ever found out you existed!"

Leo could only stare, his mind spinning with a mix of shock and anger.

"Raph!"

His brother showed no sign of hearing him. To everyone's horror, he lunged forward and snatched Karai's shoulders, shoving her against the wall.

"We risked our necks once already for you, remember?! But you threw it right back in our faces 'cause all you cared about was getting revenge! You might not really be the Shredder's daughter, but you're just like him!"

"ENOUGH!"

Master Splinter was across the room in seconds, pulling them apart. His eyes were blazing, and his voice raw with too many emotions to identify.

"Michelangelo is not yet lost to us, and he needs all of our strength now. We cannot help him win this battle if we are fighting among ourselves!"

Leo saw some of the furious tension leave Raph's body. He stood still for a moment, then turned and stalked toward the lab. As he passed, Leo reached out a hand.

"Raph, wait…"

His brother pulled away and glared at him, his eyes moist.

"Just keep her away from him," he growled. "Or I will."

He shoved the lab door open and disappeared inside. No one made a move to go after him. Now that the uproar had passed, the atmosphere seemed to be growing heavier by the minute, and Leo felt like every breath he took was weighing him down more… along with the weight of his failure.

Because whatever happened now, he had failed. As a leader, as a son… and most of all, as a brother.


	3. Chapter 3

Four days, seven hours, and fifty-two minutes.

Donnie had to force himself not to count the seconds, though that didn't stop him from hearing them tick by in his head. Picking up his coffee mug, he took a long swallow of the now cold liquid before pushing himself up from his desk.

Mikey lay motionless on the cot, as he had been ever since Donnie had finally completed the long, arduous process of cleaning, stitching, and bandaging the horrific gashes where Shredder had run him through. That night had been one of the longest Donnie had ever known, each minute spent in terror that he would fail, that his only little brother would slip away from them forever.

Morning had finally come, and with it a small sense of relief. Mikey had gotten no worse, and even more encouraging, the bleeding stopped. Donnie was hopeful that this meant he would soon turn for the better.

But it seemed luck wasn't on their side. His breathing and heartbeat remained unnaturally slow, and every time Don pulled back an eyelid the blue eyes underneath were unresponsive and dull. After four days there should have more improvement, however small, but Donnie just wasn't seeing it. It was as if Mikey's condition was somehow frozen in place.

Donnie took a deep breath, then carefully undid the sling on his brother's left arm before unwrapping his shoulder. Even though he'd been expecting it, his heart still twisted at the faint smears of blood on the white fabric.

"Why aren't you getting better, huh?" he whispered. "How do I help you?"

Mikey didn't move, not a single twitch. Donnie felt tears sting in his eyes, but shook his head and knuckled them away before they could fall. He couldn't let himself be distracted. He had to focus, or he couldn't figure out how to help. Steeling himself, he put on his doctor mask and performed the daily motions of checking Mikey's stitches, then cleaning and disinfecting the wounds before wrapping them in fresh bandages. He managed a smile as he gently replaced his little brother's arm in the sling, then drew the blankets up to his chin.

"There you go, Mikey. I know this is hard, but don't worry, okay? Whatever's going on, I'll figure it out." He reached out, his fingers gently brushing a pale, freckled cheek. There was no reaction. Donnie swallowed hard, forcing his voice not to break.

"We're gonna get you through this. I promise, little brother. I promise."

The lump in his throat grew so tight he was forced to suck in a sharp breath, clutching the frame of the cot as he ordered himself not to cry.

The sound of the lab door sliding open made him jump. Blinking away the threatening tears, he turned and frowned as Raphael entered. It was barely two hours since Leo had practically dragged him out, ignoring the weary protests and threats. The dark circles under his eyes were just as deep, and the same exhausted shuffle in his steps.

"I thought you were gonna get some sleep."

Raph grunted.

"Did. I just woke up, so I'm back."

Donnie's frown deepened as his red-banded brother sank into the chair beside Mikey's cot, resting a hand on his arm as the frown softened just a little. The past days had been hell for everyone, but Raph was the one he was most worried about. He had been like a ticking minefield the first few days, which was scary enough, but now it was as if he didn't have the will or the energy to be angry. Even his hostility toward Karai had turned into something more like cold indifference.

That hadn't stopped him from growling a colorful string of threats the one time she attempted to enter the lab, though. Since then, Karai had avoided not only him but also almost everyone in the lair. The only one she spoke more than a few words to was Splinter, and just when he sought her out.

Leo was doing his best to keep up a brave front, offering words of reassurance or an encouraging hand to anyone he could. Yet each day saw him spending more and more time in meditation or aggressive training, and that was enough to tell that he was nowhere near as collected as he tried to act.

Sensei remained the pillar of strength and quiet assurance that he always was in the hardest times, but there were hints that the situation was wearing on him too. The signs of weariness grew less subtle every day, and even in the lab he would spend most of the time in meditation… deep meditation, from the look of it.

At first it seemed like nothing unusual, but doubt was starting to creep in. Being the one who spent the most time in the lab, Donatello was the first to notice that the meditations seemed to be having adverse effects on Splinter. It almost seemed to leave him more sad and weary than before he started, and it got more noticeable each time. Of course, any questions met with an encouraging but vague response, and no one was willing to push the subject.

Donnie slumped and rubbed his forehead, trying to ease the throbs of a blooming migraine. Heaven knew they'd been through plenty of bad times before, but this time wasn't the same. The dark cloud hanging over everyone was heavier and constant now that their perpetual ray of sunshine wasn't there to break it up. That thought only made Don's fear of failure greater. Bad as things were already, how would the family bear it if…

No. He scrubbed at his eyes furiously before focusing back on the mountain of research on his desk. They would find a way to fix this. He wouldn't fail.

…

Journeying the astral plain was not a thing to be taken lightly. So many times Splinter had heard that warning, and just as many times he had given it. He wondered what his sons would think if they knew how much he had disregarded his own warning these past days. He hoped that they wouldn't find out… heaven knew that his children were suffering enough without knowing the risks he was taking.

Yet there was no other option. While Donatello remained determined to find a remedy for his brother's condition, Splinter knew it wouldn't be that simple. From the first time that he tried to connect with Michelangelo, he knew how serious it was. Even though his youngest still lived, he was lost. The exuberant light of his spirit had disappeared into a cold, dark mist… one so heavy that at first Splinter had feared it was gone. Only the barest, faintest flicker behind the fog had told him there was still hope. That hope gave him the strength he so needed as he continued his efforts to reach Michelangelo, to draw his lost, wounded spirit from the shadows, so that his family could guide him home.

Taking a deep breath, Splinter allowed his eyes to drift closed as he rested on his mat. The urge to return to the lab pulled at him, but the throbbing ache in his head and the exhaustion weighing down his limbs told him that this would bring more harm than good. The rest of the family would have their roles to play in time, but this task required a skill obtained from years of experience that none of them yet possessed. This was the main reason why Splinter hadn't told them the exact nature of his meditations… he knew that they would attempt it as well, and his children were not ready for such a burden. He had failed them enough already… he would not allow any more harm to come to them.

S' better… this way…

Splinter's ears flattened. Once he had realized the implication behind those words, it had felt like a knife plunging into his heart. He had always known that despite his bright, joyful attitude, there was insecurity in his youngest son. While it sometimes concerned Splinter, he had held off speaking to Michelangelo about it in hopes that he would discover his worth on his own. Never had he thought his good intentions would lead to one of his worst fears threatening to become a reality… sacrificing one of his children for another.

Splinter clenched his hands together even more tightly, forcing back the wave of despair threatening to overwhelm him. That fear had not come to be yet, and as long as he still breathed he would do all in his power to prevent it. He would not give up until his youngest was returned to them.

…

Leo completed his kata with a sweeping kick, then gritted his teeth as he turned to stick the landing. He kept his focus, counting down the seconds until his feet would touch… Just then, the side of his foot hit the ground. Caught off guard, Leo felt his entire frame tighten.

 _No, no!_

Sure enough, his side slammed into the floor and the air rushed from his lungs in a heavy grunt. For a few minutes Leo could only lay on the dojo floor, stunned. Once he had regained enough air, he pushed himself up onto his hands and knees. The frustration welling deep inside him escaped in a low growl as he struck the floor with a tight fist. He had done that kata hundreds of times, he knew the movements exactly. He should have been able to avoid a stupid mistake like that.

Just like he should have been able to keep his brothers safe. A vision flashed in front of him of his littlest brother: pale, unmoving, his eyes not even twitching under the closed lids. Every harsh word he had ever said, that he had allowed the others to say against Mikey, raced through his mind. He had jumped into that fight with the Shredder because he believed those words… because he thought his life was worth the least. He saw himself as unneeded, expendable.

How could he have been so blind? Mikey was sensitive, Leo knew that. Everyone knew that. How could they not have seen that those words were affecting him? How could Leo not have seen it?

 _You could have,_ a nasty voice hissed in his mind. _You just chose not to. If he was any better, you knew he'd be better than you._

In that moment, the cold fist clutching Leo's heart twisted. Was that it? Had he been pushing his brother down, just to protect his own selfish pride?

The horrible thought sent tears streaming from Leo's eyes as he lowered his head to the floor, shoulders shaking with quiet sobs.

 _What have I done? Oh, Mikey… I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry._

…

Raph sat on the stool beside his brother's cot, never once taking his eyes off the small turtle. All these days, and nothing was changing. Raph might not be smart as

Donnie, but he knew that was bad. He'd heard Donnie talking to Splinter last night, and none of that was good either. They had almost none of the proper equipment for long-term care, and even less chance of getting any. Not to mention the fact that Donnie wasn't sure it would do any good if they did.

Even worse was what Raph had heard Don whisper near the end, as if he himself was afraid to hear it.

" _It's almost like his body is in some sort of suspended animation, but if that were the case I'd have expected to see at least some level of healing by now." There was a pause, a heavy sigh. "Either way, he can't last like this. If it doesn't change in the next few days, his body won't be able to keep it up."_

Raph clenched his jaw and took Mikey's hand in a tight grip. The same horrible images flashed in front of his eyes: the Shredder's sickening smile, the flash of his blades, his brother's stunned look as they ran through his shoulder, the blood… so much blood.

A growl rumbled in Raph's throat, so feral that it almost scared him. With some reluctance he let go of Mikey's hand, not trusting himself to keep from crushing it, and gripped the side of the cot as he fought to control his anger. Finally it began to abate, and in its place came a wave of intense exhaustion. His head was suddenly so heavy that he let it drop down onto the cot. Gently, he lifted his baby brother's hand in his own again.

 _Come on, Mikey. I don't care how long you wanna snooze, but just don't… don't go somewhere we can't get to you. Please, little brother._

His mind grew fuzzy and it felt like weights were pulling on his eyelids. With a sigh, he let them drift closed but kept hold of Mikey's hand. His thumb moved in slow, gentle circles across the rough skin.

All of a sudden, Raph jolted upright. After realizing he'd nodded off and berating himself for it, he heard soft footsteps entering the room behind him. Despite the exhaustion his senses immediately tuned, telling him who it was. He was on his feet in seconds and facing the newcomer, fists clenched.

"I told you to stay out."

It gave him savage pleasure to see Karai flinch, but she didn't move back.

"I just wanted to see…"

Raph growled, cutting her off.

"There's nothing to see. He's still out, he's still not better, and we still don't know if he's ever wakin' up."

He stalked a few steps closer, glaring at her.

"And you know why? Remember what he said, back at Foot Headquarters? He thought he was worth less than you. That's why he did it."

Karai flinched again, but still didn't back away. That only made him angrier, but before he could say anything she drew a deep breath.

"I know there is nothing I can say or do that would ever…"

Finally, Raph's anger reached its boiling point. He heard his hand connect before his vision cleared. Karai had stumbled back a few steps, a hand pressed to the side of her face. There was no shock in her face, only sadness, but Raph didn't notice. He barely heard his own furious voice bouncing off the walls.

"Who're you trying to kid?! Don't think that just 'cause you can sweet-talk Leo and Sensei, you can pull it off with me!"

"Raphael!"

Splinter was suddenly there, quickly moving between him and Karai. His ears were flat against his head, eyes narrowed in anger.

"I know that this has been very difficult for you, and so have been willing to tolerate your behavior. But this is unacceptable!"

Those words only poured fuel on the fire.

"Unacceptable?!" Raph exploded. "What's unacceptable is that Mikey's laying here half dead while SHE'S walking around like all the things she's done don't even matter!"

A tiny part of him was shocked at himself; Raph had always been one to lose his temper easily, but he had never turned it against his sensei. The rest of him, though, was too angry to care.

"Mikey did this to himself 'cause he thought it was we wanted, what YOU wanted!"

Raph narrowed his eyes, and found himself blurting out one of his darkest thoughts.

"For all we know, it was. It's not like any of us were really yours to begin with, so given the choice it's no contest!"

"Raph, stop it!"

Raph's furious gaze moved to the doorway, where Leo was giving him a fierce look. Oh no, he was not going to take a lecture from Captain Kiss up.

"You're one to talk, Fearless! The minute we found out who she was, you haven't thought of anything besides getting her back! And I don't know which reason's more pathetic… that you had it bad for her or you were just desperate for Sensei's approval! Well, I hope it was worth it!"

"How can you…?!"

The sharp sound of Splinter's cane hitting the floor brought instant silence. Still simmering with resentment, Raph looked at the large rat, but any fierce words were cut off by what he saw. Splinter hung his head, ears and whiskers drooping. His grip on the cane was tight, as if it was needed to hold him up. He took a deep breath, then drew himself up a little as he released it.

"Leonardo, Miwa, please go. I wish to speak to Raphael."

Raph watched with a resentful glare as the two obeyed, but then realized that Splinter's gaze had fallen back on him. Slight guilt tempered his anger, but only a little, and he stood his ground. If he was going to have a dressing down from Sensei, he wasn't going to take it lying down.

But Splinter only continued to look at him, and Raph suddenly realized how weary and sad he looked. The hothead was about to lower his eyes when Splinter finally spoke.

"There can be no one place to assign blame in something that came about as the result of many different things. I know that you are consumed with fear for your brother, as we all are. But the terrible anger you also cling to has no purpose now."

Raph felt his temper flare again, but another look at Sensei's face stopped him. He looked so sad, and there was an edge to his voice that was almost pleading.

"No one of us is enemy to each other any longer. To harbor grudges or mistrust is something we can no longer afford to do."

Shame rippling over the anger, Raph bowed his head.

"S-Sensei…"

A gentle hand on his shoulder cut him off. When he looked up again, Splinter was looking at him with a strange intensity, concern and sympathy in the dark eyes.

"My son, do you truly believe that Miwa wishes us harm? Is that truly what is angering you so?"

Raph felt as if his brain was suddenly being pulled at in every direction.

"I… I don't know… I just… just…"

He blinked, and there was something warm and wet on his cheeks. Tears. Two arms wrapped around his tense form, and it was suddenly as if all Raph's strength was drained away. Gasping sobs tore from his chest as he slumped against his father, fingers clutching his kimono.

"I tried… tried to get there… it's my fault…

The arms encircling him grew tighter.

"No, my son," Splinter's voice was firm, but gentle. "Never think that you are at fault for what has happened. The blame lies with Shredder, and only him."

Raph continued to cling to his father, shaking and weeping until he was spent. He lifted his head to look at Splinter, and his voice trembled as he spoke.

"I-is he gonna be okay?"

The look on Splinter's face made his heart skip with fear. The ninja master released a heavy sigh.

"I… cannot tell yet. But we must not give in to despair. Your brother is strong, and I know he will fight with all he has to return to us."

Raph felt his shoulders slump, even though he had expected an answer like that. At another time it might have been encouraging, but now it just felt empty. Splinter released a quiet sigh.

"Go now and rest, Raphael. I will watch over your brother."

Despite his reluctance, Raph nodded. With a sad look at Mikey, he turned and trudged from the room. The lair was so quiet. It was weird… at one time he thought some quiet would be the best, and now it was driving him crazy. He wasn't sure how much longer he could stand it.

The sound of quiet voices made him hesitate.

"Don't take it too hard." That was Leo. "This is really hard on him…"

"No… he was right."

Raph blinked at the utter dejection in Karai's voice. Slowly, he walked to the lair's entrance. Leo was sitting beside Karai, a hand on her shoulder. She was sitting with her knees drawn up, her head hanging.

"All of this is because of me. If I had listened to Father, if I hadn't tried to face Shredder in the first place, none of this would have happened."

Raph hesitated, then stepped forward and cleared his throat. Leo and Karai looked up, then Leo quickly rose to his feet.

"Raph…"

The hothead raised a hand, stopping Leo's words.

"Relax, I'm not here to fight."

He looked at Karai, who was slowly rising to her feet. She kept her head bowed, clearly waiting for another dressing-down. Taking a deep breath, Raph sighed.

"Look, I'm sorry, really. I was way out of line."

Karai slowly looked up, then lowered her eyes again.

"It's all right, I understand. You don't have much reason to trust me, and I know there's no way I can take back everything I've done."

Raph sighed, shaking his head.

"We've got to forget about that."

He wasn't surprised at the shock on the others' faces… this was the last thing even he would expect from himself.

"It's like Master Splinter said, we're not enemies anymore and I never should have acted like we were. Mikey needs us to be working together."

Leo and Karai stood in silence, staring. Raph sighed and shrugged, but the sound of running feet drew everyone's attention. Donnie came rushing out, his eyes wide.

"Master Splinter wants us all in the lab, now," he said. "It's about Mikey."


	4. Chapter 4

Leo's heart pounded as he rushed into the lab alongside his brothers and Karai, his eyes immediately moving to Mikey. The hope flaring in his chest fell when he saw that there was no change. Then he saw Master Splinter standing beside the cot, his face stern.

"Sensei?"

"What's goin' on?" Raph demanded, not bothering to hide the anxiety in his voice. "Is Mikey okay?"

Splinter remained stoic.

"Calm yourself, Raphael. Your brother is unchanged for now."

Leo blinked, his disappointment flaring into worry.

"For now?"

His eyes widened as his father looked at him. He had never seen Splinter look so tired.

"I have finally reached him, but there is little more I can do."

A sickening feeling twisted in Leo's stomach, and Donnie's trembling voice came from behind him.

"W-what do you mean, Sensei?"

Splinter released a heavy sigh.

"Your brother's spirit is lost and drifting. Without guidance, I fear it will soon fade away."

There was a heavy silence following these words, then Raph spoke in a voice that cracked with fear.

"So, if we can't get him out of it, he…?"

Splinter placed a hand on his son's shoulder.

"Yes, Raphael. We must bring Michelangelo back to us before it is too late."

Another silence followed, but was soon broken by Donatello's quivering voice.

"H-how?"

Splinter turned to Donnie.

"Speak to him. Let your brother hear your words, and let them guide him."

There was quiet then, as the others looked at each other. Finally, Donnie drew in a deep breath and moved up to the cot. His voice trembled just a little as he took his younger brother's hand in his.

"H-hey, Mikey, it's Donnie. I don't know if you can hear me… I hope you can… but I want to say…"

His voice cracked, tears forming in his eyes.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I couldn't stop this from happening. But more than anything… I'm sorry for taking you for granted. I know we haven't given you much of a reason to believe it, but you're strong. You can fight this, I know you can. Don't you remember everything you've done? Like the time you made that retro mutagen, and when you… when you saved us from that parasite? I never really thanked you for that, did I?"

Donnie squeezed his brother's hand, a few tears escaping his eyes.

"Please give me the chance to do that. Come back, please."

The others waited with bated breath, hoping for some kind of sign that the words had been heard. A sharp breath from Donnie made them all look up.

"What?" Raph demanded.

"I-I think his hand twitched!"

"You think or you know?"

"Raphael," Master Splinter said, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Calm yourself. Remember, your brother needs you."

Pressing a hand to his face, Raph stepped away from the group. After taking a few deep breaths, he walked back over to the cot. With slow care, he took Mikey's hand from Donnie.

"Mikey?" He gave the hand a gentle squeeze. "Little brother? Can… can you hear me?" With a trembling breath, he slowly sank down onto the stool. "Listen, I… I'm not very good at this kind of stuff. But… I just want you to know, I believe in you. I do, and I'm so, so sorry for all the times that I didn't. Mikey, come on. I don't know if you've noticed, but we're not doing so good. You have no idea, little brother. We need you." He swallowed hard, then lowered his head. " _ **I**_ need you."

Tears dripped from Raph's eyes as he held Mikey's hand, pressing it to his forehead.

"Please," he whispered.

Suddenly, he felt something. His head snapped up, thinking that he must have imagined it. But then it happened; the hand in his shifted.

"Mikey?"

In front of his disbelieving eyes, his little brother's face twitched, his brow furrowed just a little. Raph found himself unable to speak, tightening his grip, but his heart fell when Mikey's face slid back into its still mask.

"No, no, Mikey, come on…"

No response came. Gritting his teeth, Raph clutched his brother's hand even tighter. Leo gave his shoulder a gentle pat, then took a deep breath of his own.

"Mikey, I… I know I don't have any right to ask you for anything. I let you down, as your leader and your brother." Taking his little brother's hand in his, Leo gave it a gentle squeeze. "But Raph's right… we really do need you. You're our light, little brother. If you weren't here, I don't know where we'd be."

He broke off when Mikey's hand twitched again. Everyone watched with baited breath as his brow furrowed again, his head slowly moving from side to side.

"That's it…" Raph whispered. "That's it, Mikey. Come on."

Master Splinter stepped forward, laying a gentle hand across Mikey's forehead and closing his eyes in concentration. Mikey's eyelids quivered, once, twice. Then finally, slowly, they parted to reveal a sliver of sky blue. After a few blinks, a faint smile flickered across his face.

"H-… hey…"

The entire room seemed to let out a collective sigh. Raph couldn't hold back tears as he pressed his forehead to Mikey's.

"Hey," he rasped.

Laughing with relief, tears escaping their own eyes, Leo and Donnie pressed in. Weakly, Mikey returned their embrace with his good arm. Splinter reached out to caress Mikey's cheek, a relieved smile warming his tired face.

"My son," he murmured. "My little one."

Karai remained standing apart from the group, but a relieved smile spread across her own face. After a few moments Leo looked up at her. His smile widening, he motioned with his head. Karai hesitated, then stepped up and gave Mikey's hand a gentle squeeze.

"I'm glad you're awake, Michelangelo."

Mikey gave her a weak but bright smile.

"Y-you n' me both, sis."

Karai smiled back at him, squeezing his hand again. She began to step back, but then Raph reached out and grabbed her arm. With a gentle pull, he tugged her into the group hug. She hesitated, startled, then slowly eased into the family embrace.

No one spoke. But no one had to.


End file.
